Letter: Surprised by deputy’s compassion and commenters’ assumptions

Letter to the editor

I never thought my life would look like this. I never thought I would be writing this letter, or that my name would be in the paper for something so painful. I am just a college student. I lost my mom, and I have been trying to survive and find my place in the world. I am not a bad person. But one night destroyed the sense of safety I thought I had, and I will carry that trauma for the rest of my life.

About ten days ago, I was drugged and sexually assaulted. I wasn’t even aware it was happening — I didn’t know I was being drugged, I didn’t know I was being raped. By the time I realized something was wrong, it was already too late. I was left on the side of the road, bruised, barely conscious, and alone. The police eventually found me, but I was in shock, terrified, and in fight-or-flight mode. I wasn’t fully aware of what I was saying or doing — I was just trying to survive. I know my interaction with the officers was confusing, and I want to say I am sorry for that. Even so, one officer showed me real compassion that night, and I will never forget that he kept me safe in my most broken state.

What has made this even harder is what came afterward — the online comments. Strangers turned my pain into gossip. They claimed things about me that aren’t true. Some mocked me, even suggesting I was transgender because my social media bio once said, “the future is female.” Let me be clear: I am not transgender. But I want to say this too — transgender people are not crazy. They are human beings who deserve respect, compassion, and safety just like anyone else. The cruelty in those comments broke my heart, not only for me but for the entire transgender community. We don’t win by tearing people down. We only win through love.

In this situation, I saw something I never expected: the right and the left came together. The police are not always out to get us. That night, they protected me when I couldn’t protect myself. And for those who wonder — no, I’m not some “crazy liberal nut.” I’m just liberal. I’m just human. I’m just someone who made the mistake of trusting the wrong person and paid a terrible price for it.

I don’t do drugs. I don’t live recklessly. What happened to me could happen to anyone.

Please, I beg people reading this: be careful who you trust. Watch your surroundings. Never think you are invincible. I thought it couldn’t happen to me, and now I am living with trauma that will never leave me.

I am not asking for pity. I am asking for understanding. I am asking for fairness. And I am asking that we choose compassion over cruelty, because words cut just as deeply as actions.

Most of all, I wish my mom were here to help me through this. She would have held me, reminded me that I’m not alone, and told me that I am stronger than I feel right now. She’s gone, but I carry her love with me as I try to heal.

Sincerely,
Dustin Baker-Gray

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